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May 5th, 2009
12:06 am So i've decided on my first tattoo.... well, i haven't decided which one of these...but this book is full of really neat illustrations that i totally love. frog and toad. No idea where i would get whichever either. i will decide. and hopefully have it by the end of this month! wooh! any suggestions would be nice to hear also!
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_EQXPQvxgn9A/Rn8GF1qurDI/AAAAAAAAAsk/eDscbhaNMN4/s320/FrogAndToadAreFriendsFront.jpg
http://www.bsu.edu/photoservices/media/79976/frogtoad1.jpg
http://www.thebigcritique.com/wp-content/themes/revolution_music-10/revolution_music-10/images/books/frogandtoadcollection.jpg
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April 25th, 2009
12:14 am - bla hblah blah rant blah blah everything important to myself i should be creating i have barley started. and i hate myself for it! Aghh! my cat has been shitting in my room all over the floor every night she stays in. conclusion, i dont like cats at fucking all. The other day it was beautiful outside, i had no work, school, i had the back door breeze open commin through, and i started sewing. that was good. i was happy, and since the weatheres getting nicer..i think my motivation is going to start creeping back up like it did. i dont drink as much as i use to. i still wish the feeling of needing it when im hanging out with new people, going to shows, whatever, would go away. its fucking silly, and i was never like this a few years ago. its weird. i am relying on fucking alcohol to make me feel better about myself because im not secure enough around new people? its so damn silly. and i dont become more awesome when im drunk. maybe i mosh harder haha, but thats it. Im confused about this matter with myself and wish i knew exactly what to do! such is life i guess!! i got my license today. what the fuck. i've been waiting for this since i was 16. to be able to leave whenever i needed time alone, to not have to rely on anyone to get me anywhere. because i live at the ass ends. And for the first time, i was driving home from work at 11pm, listening to some good god damn david bowie, all windows down, 75 degrees and i couldn't fucking break the smile off my face. it was weird...i didn't care about getting fucked up at all, i felt so damn good about myself! i hope that happens everytime i drive around haha, stupid. id like to start going to shows every week instead of everyother week about, but im scared of driving in baltimore and dc just yet...dont think i have good experience...probably would crash and get very lost.! ah! haha. I dont know if i want to go to school next year. everyone is assuming im going to, because anne arundel community college is a good school, close, blah blah, why wouldn't i? I feel like taking a year off will allow me to save money for fucking school so i won't have to struggle so much. And i'd love to travel around.....i dont know.... i neeed moree out of my life, i want to be damn excited about life every single day! WMUC is a neat place for shows. i like it. me and some dude rammed heads and i woke up with the worst fucking headache of my life, i hope my brains not bleeding and i hope i dont die in the next few days all of a sudden...still hurts! bruised on both sides. scary. haha. i hate subway. goodnight.
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March 21st, 2009
01:55 am - blah blah blah sentimental blah blah blah I cherish having grown up in such a wild fucking large family so much. I love my cousins to fucking death. And with out them i would be miserable. My cousins are my best fucking friends, and rad as shit at that. An understanding we have with each other that cant even be expressed, we just fucking get it. damn. makes life easier and way more awesome. damn, im excited to grow old.
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December 24th, 2008
10:57 am FUCKING PENTAGRAM!!! MARCH 7TH, B MORE. and i am freaking out...
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December 5th, 2008
05:09 pm be loud let your colors show
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December 1st, 2008
11:51 pm kind of how i feel YES
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November 10th, 2008
12:35 pm where the fuck have my priorities in life blown the fuck away to? My room is a consistant mess all the time. Im not focused. I dont get shit done like i use to. I speak and i sound fucking stupid. im going to make a list of shit i need to get accomplished and tape it next to my bed. Its the only way i'll get my brain out of this bullshit. and IM FUCKING TIIRED. tired tired. depressed and tired.
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September 5th, 2008
10:54 pm "sometimes at night, when i can't sleep and i want something- not sex, not a lover, not even to write, but something- i get to thinking i ought to call someone just to hear a familiar voice pushing the years aside, just to be able to say, Hello i'm so glad you're still there, how are you? but i can't. Whole chunks of my past saddled up and gone, riding into a kaleidoscope sunset, and whether it's because of all the drugs, or the pace, or just time, those particular brain cells only wine and run whenever i try to get them to form a posse and ride after the fugitive information."
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July 21st, 2008
03:40 pm A on my english exam. final grade B. Thats all i really care about all my other grades were average and crappy. I'll have my license in January! about fucking time!! Myself driving is fucked up haha...can not multi task...will only be able to focus on road. so much so much so much goin on in life right now wahhhhhhhhhh! many good things many crap shit things many annoying fucking things and many awesome things.
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July 10th, 2008
01:21 pm my friends or whatever, always letting me down really upsetting and makes me ill to my stomach makes me actually want to just go to work everyday. Wouldn't mind only hanging out with my family and cousins for the rest of time because they are really genuinly good people and to find others like that is so hard and depressing. Its never okay to physically hurt your friend only because she is calling you out on your BullShit. You were so tight and i nearly loved you but you completly fucking let me down today and I'll never pick someone else over my sister so fuck you. I wonder how tomorrows conversation will go with you because i can never walk away or forget about FuckedUp situations. I always bring um up and talk about them to their face i can't hold my feelings within me it feels like my heart is bein shoved down in the fuckin grime when i do. Really hatin on everything even my friends i see shit they do and its totally not them and it really pisses me off. I see one friend copy tendencies i have that make me who I am and use um to herself and its just really weird haha...
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